Studies show that, in order to grow into emotionally healthy, responsible adults, children need a balance of "love and limits" or "kindness and firmess" from their parents. The need to feel loved, respected and cared for but also need parents to set boundaries and make hard, sometimes unpopular decisions. A recent survey of parents across the country revealed that most parent's "style" of parenting fall into one of three categories:
a) The Authoritarian: Issues orders to children with little interest in listening to their desires or feelings. Provides children with needed firmness but not much kindness
b) The Authoritative: Parent is "in charge" and makes decisions but listens respectfully to children's opinions as appropriate and considers children's feelings. Balances Kindness and Firmness.
c) The Permissive: Largely uninvolved, possibly neglectful, in direction of the child's life. Features a "whatever makes you happy" attitude. Plenty of perceived kindness, little firmness.
Guess which "style" produces the emotionally healthy, responsible adult. Of course, it's the Authoritative style; the parent who shows love and respect to children, their feelings and opinions, but doesn't stop being the parent, with all the authority and responsibility that entails; the parent who balances love and limits, kindness and firmness. It's not an easy balance but it's the right one.
What's your parenting style? Any adustments needed?
This Parenting Tip is taken from "CONFIDENT PARENTING IN CHALLENGING TIMES: Essential Convictins of Hihgly Successful Parents" by Richard Patterson, Jr.
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