At a couples retreat some years ago, the facilitator asked the couples to write down on a piece of paper the amount of time they spent that week taking out the garbage. Then he had them turn the paper over and write down how much time they had spent together enjoying each other that week. Guess what--the garbage won!
Keeping the romance alive in marriage CAN be done but it does take regular attention and effort. It doesn't just happen. On the other hand, it doesn't require weekly or monthly vacations to Hawaii. In marriage as with many other things, "it's the little things that count".
Little things--like a weekly date. In our house, Friday nights is date night. It's our time to rent a video and have an hour and a half to two hours alone enjoying sitting next to each other and enjoying a movie. If you have children that have to be watched, perhaps you can hire a baby sitter (even one fo your older children) or work out a baby sitting exchange with another couple. Even if you only go to the local Borders or Barnes and Noble and drink coffee and read together, it can be refreshing and renewing.
Look for a hobby you can share. That's a good way to spend and enjoy time together, too. A plus is the shared sense of accomplishment you'll achieve.
Each of us appreciates the small but meaningful acts of love and kindness that say to us that our spouse really does care. For us husbands, it may be doing a household chore for our wife without being asked (or threatened!) or buying a card for no other occasion other than "I love you". You can leave a little note in his or her lunch or briefcase that reminds your spouse you're thinking of them or (for those of us living in the cold northern winters) warm your spouse's car for them before they leave for work.
Small things done during the "ordinary days" of life are often more meaningful just because they're unexpected.
Look for those small acts of loving kindness that say "I'm thinking of you. I love you". Plan them. Practice them. They'll do wonders to keep the romance alive in your marraige.
For more practical tips for parents, order your copy of "CONFIDENT PARENTING IN CHALLENGING TIMES: Essential Convictions of Highly Successful Parents" by Richard Patterson, Jr.
Send Your check for $12.49 (including s&h) to:
Richard Patterson, Jr.
Confident Parenting Today
P.O. Box 4053
Clifton Park, NY 12065
