Successful parenting will always be a challenge, even to the most hard working parent. But you can meet the challenge. Here are some pointers to help along the way.
1) SUCCESSFUL PARENTS DON'T EXPECT PERFECTION, either from themselves or their children. Parenting is an art, not a science. Parent's DO; their children BECOME. Between the "doing" and "becoming" there is room for a lot of mistakes. Successful parents understand that, like themselves, their children aren't perfect, either. These parents expect the best from their children, but not perfection. This frees them to love their children unreservedly.
2) SUCCESSFUL PARENTS DON'T FEAR OCCASIONAL FAILURES. They understand that mistakes are a normal, even healthy part of parenting.They make the best decisions they can and when they're wrong, they learn from their mistakes and try to do better the next time. For successful parents, mistakes (by parents or children) aren't failures but opportunities to learn and grow. And learning isn't possible without mistakes.
3) SUCCESSFUL PARENTS DON'T EXPECT TO ALWAYS HAVE "SMOOTH SAILING". Children have their own opinions, personalities and preferences. Inevitably, they cause us to say "Where did THAT come from?" or "What WERE you thinking?" Our responsibility to provide them with limits and guidance will sometimes clash with their growing desire for independence. These clashes are inevitable. Succesful parents aren't surprised by them; they expect them. But successful parents understand that their responsibility to their chidlren is not to always please them or make them happy. It's to make the hard decisions that will be for their best in the long run.
4) SUCCESSFUL PARENTS DON'T "GO IT ALONE".
Successful parenting means trusting yourself but not being a "lone ranger". No one has the experience or answers to every parenting challenge. But each of us has some of the answers and, together, we've got them all. So successful parents aren't reluctant to seek out the wisdom of others, whether a trusted older friend or relative or a member of a "Mom's" group. They know that, at the end of the day, the decision is theirs, but before they get there, there is plenty of wisdom aong the way waiting to help them.
These are some of the "don'ts" of succesful parents. Next time, we'll lookat some "dos".
These are excerpted from "CONFIDENT PARENTING IN CHALLENGING TIMES: Essential Convictions of Hihgly Successful Parents" by Richard Patterson, Jr.
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